Trying to Be Okay in a World That Isn’t

It’s time we start treating self-care as part of the work, not a personal indulgence.

I haven’t had the energy to do, well, pretty much anything. I feel like I’ve been operating on autopilot. Wake up, morning routine, make breakfast, meetings, make lunch, more meetings, work, go to the gym, go to the grocery store, make dinner, attempt to read that turns into distracted doomscrolling, go to bed.

Repeat.

And in between all that, try to enjoy things. Coffee dates, writing, art museums, nature walks. Staying present in the moment…amid families being torn apart, Black and brown communities continuing to be targeted, and life becoming increasingly unaffordable.

We are encouraged to remain present and enjoy small moments of happiness, even as our lives are overshadowed by an ongoing state of violence.

Between the recent detaining of 5-year-old Liam Conejo Ramos and escalating mass deportation efforts, it’s all overwhelming. Keith Porter Jr. Heber Sánchez Domínguez. Víctor Manuel Díaz. Parady La. Luis Beltrán Yáñez–Cruz. Luis Gustavo Núñez Cáceres. Geraldo Lunas Campos. Renee Nicole Good. Alex Pretti. All people murdered by ICE or who died while in the custody of ICE (that we know of).

ICE and immigration are at the forefront of the newscycle, and rightfully so. However, this doesn’t mean other issues aren’t urgent. We’re still facing ongoing attacks on reproductive rights and bodily autonomy, attacks on gender-affirming care, along with the dismantling of DEI. Lack of affordable housing and criminalizing homelessness remain large issues. Climate disasters continue to worsen even as climate change and clean energy efforts continue to roll back. The list feels endless.

It makes me wonder how nonprofit and philanthropic organizations are caring for their employees during this time, amid all the chaos. I mean, really taking care of them. How are we holding the line while also ensuring people aren’t burning out? Or is burnout inevitable when doing this work?

In a RadComms email thread about self-care, someone mentioned their luck in randomly meeting another network member at a get-together. They discussed their experiences with guilt and self-care while working in comms during Trump 2.0. It was encouraging and helpful to learn how they both set boundaries, such as checking the news only once a week during her free time. They shared strategies like engaging in artistic activities, reading novels, and completely disconnecting from social media.

Similarly, someone else in that thread recommended unplugging from the news unless it’s related to a specific project or task. They’ve learned to turn away when the news feels overwhelming or when they start obsessing—without feeling guilty about it. They don’t see the need to convince themselves that bad things are happening. Instead, they prefer to focus on strategies and envisioning a better world, along with tactics to combat negativity. They also read extensively, including books such as A Renaissance of Our Own by Rachel E. Cargle and When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön. They maintain strong morning and evening routines, including journaling to unwind. Guided meditations support their mental shifts throughout the day. Daily dancing to their favorite funk and funk-inspired artists is also part of their routine.

Another individual mentioned they replaced their smartphone with a Light Phone. They consider it the best self-care choice they’ve ever made. Although it was an adjustment initially, once they adapted, their days felt more meaningful, and they felt more present, more authentic, and more alive. It significantly improved their quality of life.

All of these examples, though extremely valuable and helpful, made me realize that many of us treat self-care as something we must individually handle ourselves outside of work rather than something that’s embedded within workplaces where we spend most of our time—and we must manage our individual self-care well enough to show up undefeated and ready to get shit done. We are expected to personally bear the emotional burden of collective trauma while our organizations continue their usual operations. In this context, personal self-care becomes a survival tactic because the larger structures around us remain unchanged.

We all see what’s going on around us. Yet impossible deadlines and unrealistic expectations persist, and hyperproductivity remains necessary because everything feels like an emergency. Your trauma and stress are your responsibility to handle before 8 a.m. and after 5 p.m. During work hours, show up, do your work, leave, and then take care of yourself in your own time.

Living like this, for me, isn’t sustainable. Work is already exhausting, and trying to appear okay while facing a world in crisis has me truly running on empty. I’m all about honesty and transparency. And honestly, transparently, it’s time we start treating self-care as part of the work, not a personal indulgence.

In the same RadComms email thread, someone else mentioned Sins Invalid and their 10 principles of disability justice, which include sustainability: “We pace ourselves, individually and collectively, to be sustained long term. Our embodied experiences guide us toward ongoing justice and liberation.”

I appreciate this perspective. Disability justice highlights that sustainability depends on whether the work is inherently just. In nonprofits and philanthropy, urgency is often used to justify unrealistic deadlines, short-term or restricted funding, and chronic underinvestment in capacity-building. This leads to burnout, which is often seen as a staffing problem rather than a fundamental systemic issue. If our movements rely solely on overworking and self-sacrifice, the funding structure itself perpetuates harm. A disability justice approach encourages us to prioritize pacing, rest, and long-term capacity-building as vital elements of liberation.

The opposition wants us to remain drained so we have less energy to resist. If we don’t pace ourselves in healthy, realistic ways, rest, build our capacity, and prioritize self-care with and for each other at the organizational and operational levels, we will lose.

During our chat this week, one of my subscribers explained that she oversees a team of 30 and ensures her support is genuine and practical. She openly acknowledges challenges. She sets realistic expectations rather than pushing for unrealistic productivity. She offers flexibility when team members are overwhelmed. She reduces unnecessary meetings. She models healthy boundaries in her own behavior instead of just encouraging others to establish them.

This is what care looks like at the organizational level, but organizations also need to ensure that these practices extend beyond individual leaders practicing self-care in the workplace and are woven into their organizational DNA. Organizations should integrate care into their core infrastructure rather than adding random programs or wellness initiatives on top of existing workloads that don’t really fix anything in the long term. The work itself should be restructured so employees can meet their essential needs without feeling pressured to always be hyperproductive.

Rest and self-care are forms of resistance. I also recognize that both are privileges that not everyone can practice, both personally and organizationally. Still, when organizations rely on individuals to overcome systemic problems through personal resilience, they sustain a draining cycle that hinders effective resistance.

We can acknowledge both that this moment requires action and that our communities are experiencing serious harm. However, urgency should not be an excuse to exhaust those working on these issues. To serve our communities sustainably, we must also ensure that those carrying out the work are adequately supported.

Nonprofit and philanthropic managers, directors, presidents, and CEOs: please take care of your employees during this time, and do not expect them to only manage their own self-care needs outside working hours. The work and our resistance depend on it.

---

Books to Guide You

• Rest Is Resistance: Free Yourself from Grind Culture and Reclaim Your Life by Tricia Hersey

• Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

• Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky

• Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self by Dr. Thema Bryant

• A Renaissance of Our Own: A Memoir and Manifesto on Reimagining by Rachel E. Cargle

• Imagination: A Manifesto by Dr. Ruha Benjamin

• You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience edited by Tarana Burke and Brené Brown

• When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön

• Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Anti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness by DaShaun Harrison

• On Repentance and Repair: Making Amends in an Unapologetic World by Danya Ruttenberg

• Healing Justice Lineages: Dreaming at the Crossroads of Liberation, Collective Care, and Safety by Cara Page, Erica Woodland, and Aurora Levins Morales

• The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color by Natalie Y. Gutiérrez and Jennifer Mullan

• The Politics of Trauma: Somatics, Healing, and Social Justice by Staci Haines

• The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love by Sonya Renee Taylor

• Thriving in the Wake of Trauma: A Multicultural Guide by Dr. Thema Bryant

---