“If you're not angry, you're not paying attention.”
And that sentiment applies to me as a white man, with most forms of privilege possible — so of course you should be angry. And of course you shouldn't feel sorry, @Tirrea Billings. 👏🏽
On behalf of my two Black daughters, thank you for the courage! 💛
Thank you for this. Your courage to speak truth without softening it is exactly what our sector needs, even when - especially when - it makes people uncomfortable.
Your insight that anger is information hit me hard. In my work with nonprofit leaders on culture change, I've seen too many organizations celebrate boldness until it turns inward, and you've named that hypocrisy perfectly. The way you refuse to apologize for your full humanity while still writing from love gives me hope that real change is possible.
Your voice matters. Thank you for not backing down.
Thank you so much, Tina! I truly appreciate the encouragement and words of affirmation. I’ve spent so much time translating my truth into something more palatable, or just staying silent altogether. I’m grateful to be in dialogue with people like you who see the value in truth-telling as a transformative process.
As well you shouldn't be. They pathologise you because the most threatening thing to the system is a Black woman who is angry but also articulate about the source of her rage. They don't want us cogent about our mistreatment. It makes those in power nervous and threatens to topple the hierarchy. Keep shining your light. We need it. ✨
Love your writing, from the first sentence to the last one! Keep your voice loud and clear, passionate and truthful, breaking the barriers and refusing to mould to the status quo - you are not alone. I'll be using my white privilege to be angry right next to you, and or in front of you - to challenge and change this outdated/systematic and systemic and individual racism. We reject it together, we change it together. I hear you, I see you. And I listen.
Hi Alica, thank you so much for this thoughtful response! I appreciate the encouragement and words of affirmation so much. It means the world to know that others are willing to stand alongside me, to challenge and change these systems. Your willingness to use your privilege to amplify these truths and reject the status quo is exactly the kind of solidarity we need!
This is the kind of truth-telling that reminds us why Black women’s voices are so often feared — because they’re powerful, unfiltered, and rooted in lived experience. Your anger isn’t the problem; it’s the warning signal these systems don’t want to hear. Thank you for refusing to be quiet. We need all of our rage, our brilliance, and our clarity in the fight for something better.
Thank you so much for the words of affirmation, Dr. Connor! I no longer fear that my anger will be seen as a disruption. I embrace it as fuel to keep pushing for a more just world. 👏🏾
I want to stand up and applaud this beautiful, heartfelt piece. I appreciate your deep authenticity, honesty, and vulnerability. Thank you for being your full authentic self, and for standing and speaking in your truth.
Yes, Heather — fully agree. When women speak from that place of truth and fire, it’s not just powerful — it’s transformative. This kind of honesty doesn’t just resonate, it reclaims.
Right? After a lifetime of decoding “bless your heart” energy, give me an angry Black woman who says exactly what she means any day. That’s not a threat — that’s a public service. 🔥
This is spot on! I feel what you wrote every time I interact outside of my home. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for writing it down for me and for all of us!!💜
I am feeling this so deeply. BIPOC women have been silenced for eons. Every line strikes and in such a powerful way. You’re a lighthouse. Thank you for being so outspoken — it’s what we women need more and more.
That is so kind, thank you so much! It’s so validating to know these words landed deeply with you. We’ve been silenced for far too long, and I’m committed to making space for our truths.
Yess, I used to carry anger from being unseen, unheard, and unsupported as a Black woman, single mom, and dreamer. But now I see that my anger was grief. It was purpose knocking. It was misalignment with God’s peace trying to get my attention.
That’s such a powerful reframe! So much of what we call anger is a deep knowing that something isn’t right. Once we start listening to our anger, it can become one of our greatest teachers.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. I’ve learned that staying true to myself and using my voice, even when it’s uncomfortable for others, is part of the work. I’ll never stop speaking up!
Thank you for speaking boldly! People who dismiss others' anger over their own typically only do it because of an unwillingness to take responsibility for how their actions and thinking harm others. This needed to be said!
Thank you for this, Caleb! You’re right, dismissing someone’s anger often says more about the discomfort of accountability than it does about the emotion itself. I appreciate you taking the time to see and affirm that.
“If you're not angry, you're not paying attention.”
And that sentiment applies to me as a white man, with most forms of privilege possible — so of course you should be angry. And of course you shouldn't feel sorry, @Tirrea Billings. 👏🏽
On behalf of my two Black daughters, thank you for the courage! 💛
Thank you so much, Kevin! Both for reading my work and also for the support/allyship. It’s genuinely appreciated! 🫶🏾
Thank you for this. Your courage to speak truth without softening it is exactly what our sector needs, even when - especially when - it makes people uncomfortable.
Your insight that anger is information hit me hard. In my work with nonprofit leaders on culture change, I've seen too many organizations celebrate boldness until it turns inward, and you've named that hypocrisy perfectly. The way you refuse to apologize for your full humanity while still writing from love gives me hope that real change is possible.
Your voice matters. Thank you for not backing down.
Thank you so much, Tina! I truly appreciate the encouragement and words of affirmation. I’ve spent so much time translating my truth into something more palatable, or just staying silent altogether. I’m grateful to be in dialogue with people like you who see the value in truth-telling as a transformative process.
As well you shouldn't be. They pathologise you because the most threatening thing to the system is a Black woman who is angry but also articulate about the source of her rage. They don't want us cogent about our mistreatment. It makes those in power nervous and threatens to topple the hierarchy. Keep shining your light. We need it. ✨
Love your writing, from the first sentence to the last one! Keep your voice loud and clear, passionate and truthful, breaking the barriers and refusing to mould to the status quo - you are not alone. I'll be using my white privilege to be angry right next to you, and or in front of you - to challenge and change this outdated/systematic and systemic and individual racism. We reject it together, we change it together. I hear you, I see you. And I listen.
Hi Alica, thank you so much for this thoughtful response! I appreciate the encouragement and words of affirmation so much. It means the world to know that others are willing to stand alongside me, to challenge and change these systems. Your willingness to use your privilege to amplify these truths and reject the status quo is exactly the kind of solidarity we need!
With utter passion and my whole being! We can only change TOGETHER.
https://substack.com/profile/52640477-pat-chaney/note/c-121855797
This is the kind of truth-telling that reminds us why Black women’s voices are so often feared — because they’re powerful, unfiltered, and rooted in lived experience. Your anger isn’t the problem; it’s the warning signal these systems don’t want to hear. Thank you for refusing to be quiet. We need all of our rage, our brilliance, and our clarity in the fight for something better.
Thank you so much for the words of affirmation, Dr. Connor! I no longer fear that my anger will be seen as a disruption. I embrace it as fuel to keep pushing for a more just world. 👏🏾
I want to stand up and applaud this beautiful, heartfelt piece. I appreciate your deep authenticity, honesty, and vulnerability. Thank you for being your full authentic self, and for standing and speaking in your truth.
Yes, Heather — fully agree. When women speak from that place of truth and fire, it’s not just powerful — it’s transformative. This kind of honesty doesn’t just resonate, it reclaims.
Thank you so much, Heather! That means so much, and it’s readers like you who remind me that this work and my truths matter. ❤️
As someone who has spent his life with ‘polite’ white people who never say what they actually mean, angry black women seem pretty great.
Right? After a lifetime of decoding “bless your heart” energy, give me an angry Black woman who says exactly what she means any day. That’s not a threat — that’s a public service. 🔥
😄 well if I had to choose, I’d rather be around the folks who are honest, direct, and willing to name the truths that others tiptoe around.
The alternative is being set up to fail.
OMGoodness! Your words are so powerful and I'm standing up in my office, cheering for you. This is an amazing piece. .
Yes!! Same here — full standing ovation energy.
🥹 that is so sweet of you! I’m truly touched by your compliments. Thank you, and thank you for taking the time to read my work!
This is spot on! I feel what you wrote every time I interact outside of my home. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for writing it down for me and for all of us!!💜
Thank you so much! I’m happy that my words connected with you so immensely. It means a lot, and thank you for reading!
You are very welcome!🙏🏽
I am feeling this so deeply. BIPOC women have been silenced for eons. Every line strikes and in such a powerful way. You’re a lighthouse. Thank you for being so outspoken — it’s what we women need more and more.
That is so kind, thank you so much! It’s so validating to know these words landed deeply with you. We’ve been silenced for far too long, and I’m committed to making space for our truths.
Yess, I used to carry anger from being unseen, unheard, and unsupported as a Black woman, single mom, and dreamer. But now I see that my anger was grief. It was purpose knocking. It was misalignment with God’s peace trying to get my attention.
That’s such a powerful reframe! So much of what we call anger is a deep knowing that something isn’t right. Once we start listening to our anger, it can become one of our greatest teachers.
Amen 🙏🏽
Keep being yourself and don’t let anyone silence your voice.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. I’ve learned that staying true to myself and using my voice, even when it’s uncomfortable for others, is part of the work. I’ll never stop speaking up!
Thank you for speaking boldly! People who dismiss others' anger over their own typically only do it because of an unwillingness to take responsibility for how their actions and thinking harm others. This needed to be said!
Thank you for this, Caleb! You’re right, dismissing someone’s anger often says more about the discomfort of accountability than it does about the emotion itself. I appreciate you taking the time to see and affirm that.